A story I’ve never written about before. It was the fall of 1982. I’d just had my senior pictures taken, we were in the middle of football season, and my circumstances were a bit unusual, to say the least.
Earlier in the summer, my father had left his fourth wife while I was vacationing for my annual two weeks of visitation at my mother’s house in the upper peninsula of Michigan. He’d had me pack all my things, not that there was a lot to pack, and leave them in places where he could find them easily. When I came back, he had moved to a one-bedroom apartment in Cadillac, away from Mesick, where I had lived ever since seventh grade. The apartment was in the adjacent building to the one where my grandma lived, just down Pearl Street, at the end of which was the ubiquitous Big Boy restaurant that had been such a large part of my childhood. I slept on a futon in the living room, while my dad had the bedroom. I didn’t have a problem with that. I was glad to be away from Number Four.
The problem with living in Cadillac was that I would have to switch schools for my senior year, which my father promised I would never have to do. The solution was unique. my friend, Ken LaFountain, lived in a farmhouse with his mother in nearby Copemish, with his mother, Joyce, who was a foster parent. We negotiated a $40 per week payment for me to stay there with them for the year. My dad was gainfully employed at the time (for a change) but I wanted to support myself, so in the winter, I got a job at Crystal Mountain Ski Resort, where Ken worked. I worked Saturdays in the cafe, and Sundays in the buffet room. Because I had taken all of my academic classes except for two, math analysis/pre-calculus and civics, I enrolled at the Wexford-Missaukee Area Vocational Center. I took electronics, in hopes of becoming a computer systems engineer. This becomes important a little bit later. The vocational school was located in Cadillac, just down the hill from my dad’s apartment. So, I got dropped off at the vocational school on Monday morning, stayed the week with the LaFountains, and my dad picked me up after the Friday night football game to take me back to Cadillac from wherever we were playing. It was really a pretty elegant solution.
So, one Saturday, I had to drive to Traverse City to take the ACT. We didn’t have the money for me to take the SAT, and none of the colleges I was going to apply to needed it, so the ACT was it for me. I drove all the way to Traverse City from Cadillac, my longest solo drive ever, in my dad’s beaten up 1974 Chevy Nova. I got to the college campus where the test was being given, and it was a gorgeous sunny day. I left my jacket in the trunk with my duffel bag, locked the car, and went in. The ACT was given in four parts, and math was first. I didn’t care for math, but it went okay, I thought. I knocked out social studies and English. Those were my best subjects. And then came science. I froze. There was so much on this test that I simply hadn’t learned. I was terrified. What was I going to do? I muddled through the test as best I could, and looked up at the clock to see that there were only ten minutes remaining and I still had about 15 questions to answer. I started to panic until I saw what the next section was: Ohm’s Law. As fate would have it, we had just gotten done with Ohm’s Law in my electronics class at the vocational school and I absolutely crushed the last 15 questions with time to spare. Flushed with victory, but feeling like someone had sucked all my brains out with a vacuum cleaner, I walked outside in the fresh, crisp fall air to my locked car.
And I did not have the keys in my pocket.
I panicked. Where were the keys? Then I realized exactly where they were. They were in my jackeg pocket. I had locked them in the trunk! Now, these were the days before cell phones. I used a quarter and a dime to call the police to come help me unlock my dad’s car. I waited about an hour until they showed up. They popped the door lock for me, and I knew well enough how to get into a trunk by taking down the back of the back seat. I retrieved my jacket and my keys, and they asked me to unlock the car door to prove it was my car. The key didn’t work. I thought, oh no, they’re going to think the car is stolen. I went back to the trunk and the round GM key opened it right up, but the rectangular key didn’t open the door. I was puzzled. I was able to start the car, though, so the police were satisfied that I hadn’t stolen the car. But I was sure confused why the key wouldn’t open the door. That was a mystery for another time. I thanked the officers and commenced with my post-test celebration.
My dad had given me $10, and I wasn’t going to bring change home. I drove just down Garfield Street to Bonanza. Back in those days, Bonanza was where you could buy a steak and baked potato, and then eat off the food bar until you couldn’t move for about five bucks. And in those glorious days, I was burning about 4,500 calories a day so I could pack it away. I was 6’4″ and 210 pounds and pack it away I did.
When I got home, My dad grabbed my grandma and took us both down to the Big Boy. I told them both of the great adventure I’d had and my brush with the law. My dad said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Those are replacement doors. Don’t lock them.”
